Turning loss and pain into success and gain

Find out your success potential.

Have you experienced?

A broken relationship                                        

Job loss

Financial loss

Loss of a business

Death of a dear one

Home loss

Loss of a good reputation

Loss of self esteem

Grave sickness or injury

If you have experienced three or more of the above losses, then count yourself lucky . Depending on how you positively reacted,  you may have given yourself exactly what it takes to uplift yourself to your next level of well being and accomplishment.

You may have also discovered that it is not what you lost that is so important, but discovering who you are was even more important. In fact it is life-essential. You may learnt that everything and every one comes into your life and then out of your life. Each is a short-term gift to help you to evolve...for you to wake up to your natural wisdom and amazing capabilities and to make your positive difference. As my mother encouraged, "Leave every one and everything in a better condition than when you found them." Making your positive difference in your life, the lives of others and in your world is what matters.

And every so-called loss just opens your door wider for your life's next opportunity.

How do I cope with the loss and pain?

"But why the pain?" you ask. You created your pain as your reaction to your new reality of losing what was important to you. Your pain is a measure of the gap between your expectation or attachment and the seeming reality of not having what you had before. Have you noticed, the bigger the gap, the bigger the pain?

No 1 Bridge that gap. Accept you loss and pain fully. Do not resist it or deny it.

Try this: the next time you have a headache, focus on the pain.Ask yourself: where it is; what is its shape and size; how deep it is; what colour; what texture(soft to hard); what level of pain(0 to 10). And keep repeating them. Surprisingly quickly you can find the headache melting away within minutes. Do the same for any loss or negative emotion you have created within yourself.  This turns you from being a victim of life to you being in charge. The powerful you!

No 2 Focus on your positive experiences, people and things you have in you life. Fill your mind with appreciation and, the more you appreciate, the more you will get to appreciate. Feel the emotional buzz. Feel your inspiration lift. That's why success breeds success.  Above all focus on your strengths and what you are naturally good at.

See the attached 4 min. video and hear the true story of how one man changed his life around from being out of work to helping to transform a city

No 3 Get out of yourself...your little-self, the one that feels self pity. Become your big-self by focusing on the positive differences you can make in the lives of others and in your world. Did you know research results show those who do, are healthier and live longer?

And laugh at your losses. Yes, laugh. That reminds me of a multi millionaire who on TV was bemoaning the fact he had lost a fortune and was down to his last five million. The viewers were laughing.  Always remember you (a) come into life with only your DNA  and (b) go out leaving even that behind. Your purpose is to live fully between your (a) and your (b). How fully you do that is the measure of your success and gain.

Make a picture of your future

Get a large sheet of cardboard and paste onto it pictures that represent what you wish to experience...your vision in picture form. Put it up on your wall. Companies do this. They too call it their vision, but they just use words. Words can be dull, don't you think? And then the companies put them in the draw where they can't be seen. You will create far more impact with pictures that you can see.

And here is another technique I developed to rocket myself out of depression..one caused by a disappearing business partner disappearing with my business.  As you know, one is not always low. Every now and then one lifts up and the sun shines. Now grab those positive moments by ringing every friend you know to make an appointment to do something fun together...a film; a coffee; a walk. One appointed event for every day for two weeks ahead. Notice: appointed events. No "maybes". Commit yourself. Make it hard for yourself not to show up.  As actor Woody Allen said, "78% of success comes from showing up".  Most people don't show up. Say after me "I show up!". In a big voice now "I SHOW UP".                                                                                                                          And why do this when you "lift up"?  Because it is almost impossibly difficult to do it when you are down. I have tried.

And the benefits? They are amazing. Every time you look at your list, your emotions will lift and every time you experience your fun-activity they will lift even further. Soon you will be buzzing with positive endorphins. With your energy up-shift you will find yourself automatically attracting to yourself people and circumstances that fit your new mood. The Law Of Attraction in action! That's how it works: positive thoughts causing positive emotions, causing positive experiences, causing more positive thoughts and more positive emotions etc etc ...a virtuous spiral building on itself.  Keep feeding that spiral! It is your LIFE. Don't get lazy when you feel good about your life going well.

There is much more we can share. let's do that next time.

Your questions

Between now and then send me your questions. Having myself scored  8 out of 9 on the above scale, I would be pleased to share what I learnt to get up myself. Tell us your experiences. Share your stories.