What you experience is who you are!

Have you noticed how, when you  feel good in yourself, life is good? The right people and circumstances naturally flow into 'your life, often with no effort on your part. Have you also noticed that when you are feeling "off", the reverse is true? What is happening is your experiences are reflecting how you are being. They provide a mirror reflection of you. The key to experiencing the life you want on the outside, is to first experience that life on the inside in your imagination, thoughts and feelings. The challenge is when your outer current reality does not match the outer reality you would like. The key to having the latter is to accept the former for what it is, without judgement or resistance, but to keep your mind and feelings on what you do want.

Tips:

* before going to sleep, run over all the experiences you have had during the day that are in keeping with the reality you wish to experience.  See yourself experiencing them and feeling them.

* as you wake up, repeat the exercise. Over the coming days you will find the people and your circumstances becoming increasing like the reality you want. So you can track your progress, keep a small note book and each day record your positive changes. Doing this will also spead up the process. What you focus on is what you get and who you are being is what you will experience. I would very much like to learn about your experiences and how you are creating the life you want.  Let me know.

Best wishes.

Chris

After an intensive interactive session with the 30+ year old executive students at university this morning, one said "I would never express myself like this if my boss was sitting beside me." Another added, "It starts when we go to school. We have to sing a song in front of class and that makes us all feel like idiots. Then we are trained to do as we are told without question. We are never asked what we think." Another student questioned, "Why is it the companies want creativity and innovation, yet when I'm at a job interview I am never asked what I think or anything to do with my creativity or ability to innovate? They only want to know if I can do the job." Are we being trained to shut up and mindlessly take instruction?  Perhaps it is no wonder that after the age of 7 children have lost much of their imaginative ability, their willingness to ask "why?" and their willingness to try.. Until turning seven, what is later named failure, was just another fun experience. After then, the word failure is the label given for trying and then experiencing an outcome that was different from expectations... usually others. We are judged and begin to judge ourselves according to others standards. And the outcome? Could it be, one ceases being ones own person and instead becomes the standard model others want us to be? Does one cease to think for oneself and become disconnected and mistrustful of ones own natural wisdom? Have we  become like those USA college graduates who were questioned a few years ago to see how well they could appropriately apply in different situations what they had learnt? They were found to have the ability of seven year olds. Unless we are encouraged, we can lose our creative spark, initiative and willingness to experiment and try and to fully live. How do we break free from becoming a human robot? The steps back to sanity and our humanity: 1. recognise what thoughts, beliefs and values you have inherited from others and ask yourself, do these really serve me? 2. go into your heart. Move out of your mind, tune into how you feel and ask how do I want my life to be? 3. ask, what thoughts, beliefs, values and actions will cause me to experience my life the way I want it? Start to think, feel and act accordingly. Use your imagination and envisage you and your life being the way that allows you to feel the greatest amount of joy. The result. The kind of life you have been experiencing that has not worked for you, will simply fade away. You will begin to feel a shift. Rather than finding life draining you, you will have more energy, more enthusiasm, more inspiration and more joy for living. What's more, you will get more done with far less stress and effort. Being true to yourself, rather than a copy of others expectations, is totally empowering. You come alive to yourself and life. You become a full human. Only when you are, can you be of service to others.

What is the key to success?

Success? It is what what you are being as opposed to an external achievement. We usually think of success as the accomplishment of a goal or achieving an ambition. The external success is an effect. The real success is the cause, and that cause is who you are being. All external success is the result of that cause. The KEY to your success is you first being the success you want to experience.How do you do that? Simply see in your mind and feel you have ALREADY achieved the success you want and behave as though you have. Here is an example. There was a team of young teenage ice skaters who had been training and competing for several years and were being coached by a very competent coach. The team was  technically excellent yet year after year they failed to achieve a medal. I was asked if I could help. We met for two hours and I had the team members tell each other about the beauty they saw in one another.I wanted them to know and feel their own beauty. Using brightly coloured plastic shapes they together made a picture of the collective beauty they wished to express on ice when they next competed. For a few minutes they looked at their picture holding it in their minds and seeing and feeling themselves expressing that together. A few weeks later at the next world competition they received a silver medal. Their "success" was expressing their collective beauty on ice. By doing that so well they received their medal.  The medal was an effect.. Them expressing their beauty was the cause. The key was not focusing on "winning a medal". They had been doing that before and all that did was to increase their stress and decrease their performance. The key was them expressing their best on ice..... the result was the medal. Remember, you are already a success..

We have taken 13.8 billion years to get here. According to Dr Jean Houston, that's how long it took after

the Big Bang, for you and I to be these people we are. And what's the purpose?

To go from that flash of light, gas, into dust, then a cell and finally into you, who is able to read this, is almost

incomprehensible.

Congratulations, but how did we do it? We were definitely not there at the start. Where was the receipt

for you and me? Where was code? So we just formed ourselves as things evolved.   And what does that tell us?

The universe is super intelligent in coming up with us. I don't know about you, but I could not have

designed me even if I was around to do it.

So we went from that flash of light, gas and dust to who we are now.

So the universe is also creative? Super creative. And unfolding in every increasing complexity.

Now we are here. Did we just emerge here on the shores of life by an on-going freak accident or is there a meaning?

To get us here from that Bang was a very purposeful process. And therefore everything that took place along the

way therefore had a meaning ... a purpose, which was to get us here at this point in time.

 

Now we are here, what is our purpose?  What's is the meaning do we wish to create? What is your unique gift or

contribution to this unfolding process?  And, as we are not here for long, we had better be quick in deciding

before we are again dust.

But do we really have to bother?  Can't we just be mediocre, exist and then die; do what we are told to do;

get paid; get a pension; leave?  Most probably do that. Fit in and fall off life's disembly line.

But is that a life?  That's not living. So what is our purpose? What are we living for? What are we giving

our lives to?

Like the universe, we are intelligent, we are creative and we are unfolding ... expressing ever more of

our potential.

Life has given life to us, so why don't we return the favour and give life to life, making our unique

contribution to the quality of life and the lives around us.

Let me know what is the unique contribution you choose to make.

Because you are free to choose, how do you decide what to choose?

The choices you make dictate your future, the quality of your life, your relationships, your well-being, your wealth and health and possibly how long you live. Making your choices is THE MOST IMPORTANT task you have. So how do you decide what to choose?

Tips on how to choose:

1.  Choose life!  When you make a choice ask yourself what choice most serves and supports life. What is life-supporting adds to life .... your life and the lives of others. What you will find is that when you support life, life supports you. I will share an example. When I moved from New Zealand to Finland I decided it would be best if my children could enjoy the company of their Finnish grandparents because my parents were no longer here. Any thought of a career was put behind me. Within days of arriving in Finland my wife talked with the woman who owned a cafe. She said her son was studying international business; a subject I was interested in. I spoke to him and got the name of his university. Then spoke with the dean who arranged for me to meet the head of the business studies faculty. He said "we need a native English speaker in leadership. Would you be interested in lecturing on that subject?" Of course I said "yes". "There's a problem. The students are not interested and only half turn up." "No problem" I replied and left to go to the main book shop to select a book on leadership to study. A week later I was lecturing. A week after that the class was full and the lectures were rated by the students as the best they had attended.

 

2.  What choice best adds to my happiness?  Your mind, heart and body is one intelligence sensitive to what is best for you. When you face a choice between two or more alternatives consider each alternative and ask your self "does this add to my happiness?". Sense the reactions in your heart and body. The choice best for you is the one where you feel a sense of fulfillment and increased happiness. It could be called your intuitive sense. Even though the choice you make may not appear rational or sensible you will invariably find that it was  the best choice for you at that time. Try this in simple ways first developing and trusting your ability to make the right choices.  It is a skill you can easily develop and is a skill used by many, such as business leaders, who are making big decisions.

 

3. Observe the outcomes of your choices.  Although we may think we make our choices on clear rational grounds, many of our choices are driven by our sub-conscious urges that we are unaware of.  The outcomes of your choices will inform you about the nature of the inner urges that caused you to make the choice you did. You may find you have a pattern of making choices that are not good for you. For example, you may have noticed that sometimes women who are in relationship with alcoholics leave their relationships only to go into relationships with other alcoholics. Once you are aware of your inner urges you can change your choices to be more beneficial. Later I will explain ways to do that.

 

4.  Sometimes it is better not to choose.  Instead you may rather not do anything when faced with a problem. Why?  A new manager of the subsidiary of one of the world's largest companies realised the previous manger was always solving problems. No sooner had he solved one problem, another would pop up. As he observed this, he realised that the manager's solutions would often be the cause of new problems. When he took over as manager, he decided not to solve problems but rather wait to let the problems solve themselves. Only, if they did not, would he intervene and often only to ask those who were most affected what they considered the most appropriate course of action.

 

5. Choose not to do harm to others.   This is similar to  No 1 and relates to No 2. You will find by choosing not to harm or hurt others will add to your own happiness. Go the next step. Choose to benefit others; not to save them from themselves, but to help them to help themselves. If do the former you could be disliked. If you do the latter, they will be empowered and you may or may not be liked, remembered or even thanked. That is not why you chose to help them to help themselves. The help you give is best if given without thought of reward or thanks. Your reward is knowing that you have the power and the opportunity to make a positive difference in someone's life. When you are aware of your power you become more powerful. When you are aware of opportunities you attract more opportunities. That is your reward.

If you have a question, email me.  I will read it and, if I'm not too busy, will reply.